Some people can't be trusted with jean shorts.

I was reminded today that a lot of people can mess up something as simple as jean shorts. I'm a big supporter of jean shorts, I'm from a beach city in California, we practically live in those things in the summer. When worn right, they're cute, casual, and keep you cool while you're running around in the hot sun, so they're functional. But sometimes I see these fashion offenses where jean shorts are concerned that I just can not comprehend. Now, by no means do I consider myself a fashionista. I dress for comfort most of the time, thought if I could afford it I'd dress like Blair Waldorf at all times but obviously... not gonna happen.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens flew into Sydney yesterday for some surf competition. Let's just say her shorts caught my attention and inspired this entry.

6 Reasons You Should Put the Jean Shorts Back on the Shelf

The High-Waisted Jean Shorts

There's no reason to turn your mom's jeans into shorts. Ever. High-waisted pants don't look good on ANYONE.

Shorts That Are Not Really Shorts

If they reach your knees, just let them reach your feet, because capri jean shorts are ridiculous and make you look like a boy. So is anything white-washed. It's not the 80's, stop trying to bring them back, please.

White-Trash Jean Shorts

If I can see your pockets, it's a problem. Why would someone ACTIVELY go for the white-trash look when it's not Halloween? It looks like you took scissors to that pair of jeans that doesn't fit you anymore. Some advice? If they didn't fit you as pants, they won't fit you as shorts, trust me.

Jean Shorts with Heels

Jean shorts are not classy. They're for the hot weather, mostly for the beach, definitely not for your big events. SO STOP WEARING THEM THAT WAY. It makes you look like one of those 12 year-old girls at a Britney Spears concert that think they look mature but they actually look like the little bitches on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Jean Shorts and Leggings/Tights

This is dedicated to the I Say Some Shit blog. Tights or leggings with shorts is counter-productive. It makes you look like you couldn't make up your mind. Are you hot? Are you cold? Figure it out and take one of the two off. But also keep in mind, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS, Lindsay Lohan.

Anytime Amy Winehouse Wears Anything

Nothing looks good on this bitch.



So there you have it, my photo essay on jean shorts, and I hope you took notes. There will be a pop quiz later.