WTF is Lady Gaga?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? PLEASE DISCUSS.

Alexander McQueen, Michael Jackson, and celebrity deaths.

I don't get the glorification of people that have passed away. Yes, it's sad and it's terrible for their families. But not every person that dies deserves to be praised. A lot of people are assholes and divas, and some are marginally talented, then suddenly they are genius when they die. It's stupid. This isn't necessarily specific to the celebrity world, though I'm fine with using it as my example, since it happens more often than not.

Most recently with Alexander McQueen. The death of the fashion icon was tragic and unexpected, there's absolutely no denying that fact, and the damage it must have caused his friends and family. But in this death we've seen the truth of how our society thinks and reacts to death. An ex-boyfriend of his came out and said that he was shocked to hear all these fashionista's going on record to say how much they loved him, after stabbing in him the back while he was alive. It's not even the fashionista world that has proclaimed their love for him, but pretty much everyone, even those not involved in fashion. I'll be honest, I couldn't point out a damn thing from him if someone offered me a million dollars.

Then this article comes out from the Daily Telegraph questioning his talent and people go absolutely bonkers over it. The article also points out that talent in fashion is hard to even define. Most of it is just out there and people praise it because it seems like the cool thing to do. But the author brings up a compelling argument. Apparently McQueen was standoffish and rude, the author clearly thinks that all this praise is unjustified, but everyone else in the world thinks that he's being disrespectful.

Why is it that in death people respect talent more than in life?

I happen to think Michael Jackson was musically very talented. He was innovative and unique when everyone around him was doing the same thing. Artists of today have his obvious influences in their music but never quite the same affect. But I was shocked when he died and everyone in the world was singing his praises. I was shocked at that more than at his death. Suddenly people couldn't stop talking about what an amazing man he was. The usual word genius came up.

Where were all these people the last ten years? The man couldn't get his songs to chart on the radio and went in to hiding. He was going bankrupt and everyone was laughing at him. People made jokes at his expense and most were convinced he was a sick and twisted child molester. But then he suddenly dies and that's all completely forgiven. All that people can talk about was how he gave to charity, had a huge heart, and was musically ahead of his time.

I'm not here to comment on the truth of how he lived his life because we'll never really know. Everyone involved with him is out to make a quick buck. But I do not understand how death makes people so quick to withdraw their opinion of people.


When someone dies why can't we be honest, "How sad, my thoughts are with his family. Too bad he was such an asshole." Just because they've passed away doesn't erase how they were in life. It doesn't make them a better person and forgive all that they've done. Hell, if someone is such a bitch while alive maybe that's exactly how they wanted to be remembered. Not to say we can't have a moment of silence and respect the life that was lost, but I've never much seen the point in glorifying people, making them more then they were. Why not take the mistakes we all saw them make and try and learn from them?

Hollywood has lost a lot of big names over the past few years and some were rightfully labeled as genius and others were wrongfully given accolades for work that wasn't even that great. I mean, I love Heath Ledger and continue to watch a great many of his movies. Do I think he deserved an award for playing the Joker in Batman? No. He was scary but after everything I had heard I was deeply underwhelmed with his performance. But his unexpected death and the media circus that followed awarded him for a performance that wasn't one of the best of his career.

So, in closing, I ask you this. Why do we judge and show such distaste for people in life and suddenly forget all of that when they die? In a time of remembrance we forget who the lost were completely and make up a new identity so that we are no longer remembering them, but this image of them we've created.

Why is Miley Cyrus famous?

THIS BITCH AGAIN.
She can't sing. She can't dress. She's not cute.
I CAN SEE YOUR POCKETS, CYRUS. We JUST had an educational class about shorts and you clearly were not taking notes. You fail, turn in your microphone and go home.

Heidi Montag continues to be crazy for Valentines Day.

I'll keep this short and sweet. But does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?





More at the source. I can't deal with uploading anymore.

This is enough to make me want to cancel Valentines Day next year for the sake of humanity.

Some people can't be trusted with jean shorts.

I was reminded today that a lot of people can mess up something as simple as jean shorts. I'm a big supporter of jean shorts, I'm from a beach city in California, we practically live in those things in the summer. When worn right, they're cute, casual, and keep you cool while you're running around in the hot sun, so they're functional. But sometimes I see these fashion offenses where jean shorts are concerned that I just can not comprehend. Now, by no means do I consider myself a fashionista. I dress for comfort most of the time, thought if I could afford it I'd dress like Blair Waldorf at all times but obviously... not gonna happen.

Anyway, back to the task at hand. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens flew into Sydney yesterday for some surf competition. Let's just say her shorts caught my attention and inspired this entry.

6 Reasons You Should Put the Jean Shorts Back on the Shelf

The High-Waisted Jean Shorts

There's no reason to turn your mom's jeans into shorts. Ever. High-waisted pants don't look good on ANYONE.

Shorts That Are Not Really Shorts

If they reach your knees, just let them reach your feet, because capri jean shorts are ridiculous and make you look like a boy. So is anything white-washed. It's not the 80's, stop trying to bring them back, please.

White-Trash Jean Shorts

If I can see your pockets, it's a problem. Why would someone ACTIVELY go for the white-trash look when it's not Halloween? It looks like you took scissors to that pair of jeans that doesn't fit you anymore. Some advice? If they didn't fit you as pants, they won't fit you as shorts, trust me.

Jean Shorts with Heels

Jean shorts are not classy. They're for the hot weather, mostly for the beach, definitely not for your big events. SO STOP WEARING THEM THAT WAY. It makes you look like one of those 12 year-old girls at a Britney Spears concert that think they look mature but they actually look like the little bitches on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Jean Shorts and Leggings/Tights

This is dedicated to the I Say Some Shit blog. Tights or leggings with shorts is counter-productive. It makes you look like you couldn't make up your mind. Are you hot? Are you cold? Figure it out and take one of the two off. But also keep in mind, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS, Lindsay Lohan.

Anytime Amy Winehouse Wears Anything

Nothing looks good on this bitch.



So there you have it, my photo essay on jean shorts, and I hope you took notes. There will be a pop quiz later.

RPattz is allergic to vagina. The sky is also blue.

If we compiled an encyclopedia of the stupid shit that celebrities say to try and sound like they're different and set themselves apart, it would probably be bigger than the ACTUAL encyclopedia. I'm continuously baffled by what comes out of the mouths of these people when they know it's going to end up in print. In a magazine. Or they get talked in to posing with a nude model because it's EDGY and it makes them look bad-ass. My first example of this is a quote from RPattz from his Details cover article (where he also poses with nude chicks).

“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot , so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours…Thank God I was hungover.”

I mean, really, did this asshole just come out of the closet in the most unobtrusive way possible? What does it mean to be allergic to vagina? AND on what planet did he think it was a good idea to say this when 88% of the teenage population would like him in the general vicinity of their vaginas? I, personally, would like to see physical evidence of this statement. Like, hives.

Have male celebrities lost their minds this week? Robert Pattinson is allergic to vagina and apparently John Mayer's dick has a mind of it's own. A racist mind of it's own, if we're going to believe what he spews out. It's like, these people think that saying something like this is going to make people think they're witty? Different? Edgy? WHAT exactly are they trying to do. All I do is read this quote and it pretty much cements this idea in my mind that Pattinson is a dumbass with no social skills. This guy continuously comes off pretentious as hell or just stupid. In this case, stupid wins out over pretentious.

And why is it that when a guy does an interview for a mens magazine they feel the need to suddenly act like a man? For instance, Zac Efron, who has probably done a million interviews since his fame blew up and always comes across well spoken and educated gets on the cover of GQ magazine and is suddenly dropping the f-bomb and saying everything is bullshit. (Oh, and this guy did the nude chick photoshoot, too. I'm keeping track of this shit, boys.)

"If somebody can find any photo that shows me wearing false eyelashes," he says, "I will give them a fucking million dollars. That's bullshit."

Pause.

"You know what, dude? A couple of times, when I was young, and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing—it's just what happens. Somebody's there, and it's their job. And they load you up with makeup. They don't do the girlie thing, but they, y'know, cover your zits. It didn't come from a self-conscious place—it was just what everyone did. And since then, people just constantly think I'm wearing makeup. It's a recurring theme. But fuck, man. I have never worn false eyelashes in my entire life."

It's a classic case of trying too hard. These guys get locked into this heartthrob persona and suddenly they'll do anything to break out. Pose with nude models, sleep with every girl they meet, say stupid crap in the pages of a magazine, and start dropping f-bombs. Not that I have a problem with the word fuck. It's a good word, when you're not trying to prove how bad-ass you are.

Lastly, correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't imagine anyone really gives a shit about who has slept with who in Hollywood (unless, of course, you're cheating on your wife). One of the things about men in Hollywood (and some women, I'm looking at you Megan Fox) that makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little is when they talk about their sex lives. In detail. I don't want to know how good Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Aniston are or are not. Frankly, it makes you less sexually desirable as a male. Does anyone remember when Justin Timberlake talked about having oral sex with Britney Spears on the radio? We all thought he was a douchebag for a good year after that and then he came out with a decent album and sort of made us forget. Now, we've got John Mayer to focus on.

That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm...

There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you."

Ew. Just ew. I don't want to think of Jessica Simpson perspiring, let alone having sex with John Mayer, that's just a mental picture that doesn't need to be situated in my mind ever. Not to mention, he just came out with an album so it's going to be another two years before we FORGET that this took place. I'm trying to Clorox my brain but it's not working and I might sue this little bitch for damages.

So, we've got three separate offenses here that male celebrities always seem to fall into at some point in their career. Brad Pitt did it. Leo DeCaprio did it. But I have to wonder if they'll ever learn. I'm not saying you need to cater to your female audience for the rest of your life, in fact we want you to grow up and be more of a man, because we're growing up. But trying too hard is an awesome way to lose respect of both the male and female audience. The intelligent people in this world can see through it, and aren't those the fans you want, rather than being stuck with the twitards that worship you even when you talk about how they all need to lose about 100 pounds and find real boyfriends that don't sparkle?

Get it together boys. Try and be real men without the vaginas, racist dicks, and f-bombs.

Welcome to The Bitch Blog.

There are a million bitchy pop culture blogs out there in the world, I follow most of them, sometimes I agree with them and sometimes I feel like these idiots wouldn't know a valid point if it kicked them in the ass. I guess that's what I'm here for. As an avid follower of pop culture I have a lot to say about the dumbasses we pay millions of dollars a year to basically traipse around in designer clothes and have very little intelligence. I also have a lot to say about the people trying to make legit careers in the face of assholes on the internet.

But on top of that, I've worked in the industry, I grew up around it. I was born in Los Angeles and have lived there most of my life. When I haven't lived there, I've lived in other entertainment-centric areas (Nashville and currently New York City). I've worked in the music industry and the entertainment industry in general. This gives me some insight. And while I've spent a good majority of time dying my hair a million different colors, the dye has not seeped into my brain and destroyed my common sense like it has the celebrities I like to harp on or this other infamous blogger who shall not be named.

So, here it is, finally. I promise to put it to good use. Watch out, Hollywood. I'm after you.